dear fren of mine,

i juz received the best birthday present i cld ever ask for. tis yr was already gonna be fab fab fab but tis juz puts my fav maraschino cherry on top my strawberry n choc-covered cake! yay yay! ur one phonecall set the mood for my entire bdae wk. thanks so much man.. aft crying u a river, i guess i juz cried another yang tze.

all i wanted was to be ur fav "hello" n ur hardest "gd bye" but it is evident tt birthday wishes dun come true. not in my lifetime anyway.

i shld hv expected wat was to come with all the warped dreams of pierced fairy-like heart-shaped bubbles.. who actually surfs the net to find expert's view on being a perfect girlfriend? who spends her entire paycheck n starves herself trying to gain the approval of someone who couldn't care less?! who sets her clock the 24-hr army way juz so she can feel tt tiny bit closer to ur new life? if all these is not enough then i admit defeat. i try too hard to excel sometimes. if tis was an exam, i wld hv flunked out.

dun worry abt me, its not the first time u disregarded my existence n forgot tt i'm human too. i bet it was damn shiok to be playing with my feelings a mere second ago n throwing it all back in my face w/o any shread of sympathy the v nxt instant. i'm joy, the living n breathing puppet. wow! if for a moment u tot i cared, poor baby.

"i may call u later.. happy ma.."
i was happy. i was jumpy. i logged myself out of FMKT n sat by the phone, u big fat liar.

i lost more n more of me each time i cried in front of u. i betrayed myself when my heart leaped as ur ringtone echoed frm my phone. i fed ur ego n quenched ur desire, all the while not knowing if i really meant anything to u. i trusted u to mean every wrd u said. i relied on ur every gentleness. i longed for tt tiny bit of attention n i cherished every single second. if i wasn't gd enough then n i'm not gd enough now, i guess i wun ever meet ur standard.

boy, u hv hurt me. u hv hurt me so god damn bad i really wish i didn't love u. bcoz tt way, i can curse, swear n hurl abuses at u till tmr morn n still not be done. i hope u get bitten by mosquitos. alot of mosquitos. not brutal enough? alot alot alot of mosquitos!

u lit up my 18th n u wrecked my 19th. still, i'll smile. coz the one thing i hv learnt frm tis 6 mths is how to laugh through my tears. if friendship will make u happy. friendship is wat u'll get. call me stupid but i'll juz let u prolong ur selfishness tt little bit more. forgive me for tinking u were stronger than this n forgive me for having the audacity to believe for a fraction of a sec tt i was worthy of u.

with a big bao bao,
the girl who used to make ur life beautiful.